The Girl I loved - Part 7
Thursday, June 02, 2016Rahul
”Rahul? Are you awake?” Ajit said as he walked in through the door.
“Oh shit! Did you hear everything she said?” he asked, his face laden with what’s more than concern.
I could've replied only if I could have found my voice. I wanted to say something, a word or at least an alphabet. But even making the weakest of sounds felt like an arduous task to me.
“Rahul?” he asked seating himself on the bedside, placing his hand on my shoulder.
I just nodded and tried to adjust myself on the bed but my ribs hurt like hell and even a slight movement sent a jet shot of pain through my nerve endings.
I didn't even realise I was crying until I felt the drops of my tears trailing down my cheeks as they succeeded in leaving behind the emptiness that filled my eyes with nothing but the sorrow, agony and despair.
Every single word she uttered still ringed through my ears as clearly as the early morning sunshine.
I wanted to answer the every single question she spat at me. I wanted to make her understand my true feelings for my doings. I wanted to make her dwell in the feel of being loved. I had the strongest urge to answer her but only if I could have.
Heck! I couldn't even move a single part of my bruised body for more than a couple inches without wincing in pain and I had to stay helpless in my bed ridden condition when I wanted for more than anything to be by her side when she was being manipulated by Arjun.
It felt like my chest being ripped open and my heart being stamped under her tender feet as the meaning behind those words sunk in the deepest parts of my soul.
‘Rahul! What the f*ck are you doing hiding in there!’
I wanted to tell her that I wasn't hiding but was lying helpless.
‘Why the hell did you hit Arjun? What did he do?’
If only she knew what he did. His true intentions hidden behind that gentleman mask that adorned his face. I knew that he’d do anything to her once they get married only because he could get back at me. I was the one in between his conquest of getting her and all the wealth that would be acquired along with her and he’d do anything to see me below his feet which included crushing her life which would in turn hurt me more than I could ever imagine.
Ajit being the true friend he is, when he tried to stop her from breaking what was left of my heart by saying ‘please don’t raise your voice, he might hear,’ I truly adored him for what he’s worth of.
‘I want him to hear!.....Rahul! Why are you bothering me with your useless shit. I don’t want to have anything to do with you again. I don’t want to hear the name Rahul again in my life. I don’t ever want to see your face again.’
I didn't know what to say to that. She wanted me to hear everything! She wanted me to have nothing to do with me again. After ten years of sharing her life with me, she wanted to have my name erased from her life. She doesn't want to see my face.
“Rahul, please don’t cry. She’s not worth the tears you’re shedding. Don’t waste your tears on someone who’s not worthy of them. They’re too precious for ……..”
“She’s worth more than every single tear that leaves the hollow of my eyes and trails down my cheeks!” I exclaimed, directing my glare at his stunned self.
“What are you gaining out of this when she doesn't want anything to do with you anymore? Why are you doing this?” he asked raising his hands in surrender.
“Because she is …… ‘The Girl I Loved’. She’s the girl that stole my heart. She stole my thoughts, my soul, my life, my everything.”
‘I'm disgusted with you. You hear that? I AM DISGUSTED WITH YOU.’
The moment those words left her mouth, the world stopped rotating, my mind stopped processing, my hands lay limp by my side and my heart stopped beating for a moment.
‘How dare you message me again when I don’t want to have anything with you included in it? For the last time I'm saying, leave me alone.’
I would. I would leave her alone if she wanted that. If she truly meant that she doesn't want to have anything to do with me, then I’d make sure it’d happen. I’d never try to pry my way into her life.
This was the moment when it felt as if the bond that connected us was broken as the final straw that held it together shred itself apart prying us away from each other.
“What is it that you’re fiddling with Rahul?” he asked as his gaze was fixed at my hands.
I myself forgot that I was holding it. I never stayed away from it since the time I bought it almost an year ago. It was always with me throughout the day. It felt like as if a part of me was missing even when I had to part with it for a second.
As I opened my fingers facing my right palm above, the diamond ring that sparkled brightly beneath the golden rays of the setting sun that escaped through the window slits came into the view.
The tiny shimmering stone seemed exquisite adorning the golden ring, stole my heart just at the first time I laid my eyes on it. It reminded me of her when I first laid my hands on it and it seemed nothing but perfect for her when I imagined her to be wearing it that I just purchased it on the hope of finding the right moment to place it on her finger.
“You….You were looking to propose to her?” Ajit asked, his tone being that of shell shocked as he kept staring at the ring with his eyes wide and his stance stunned. “I mean, you were going to propose her as in getting engaged?”
I couldn't look at him in the eyes when I answered it as I just nodded before replying, “yes.”
It had been an year since I hoped to find the right moment which never came. I was a coward when it came to this matter as I never dared to do it. I was afraid that if she declined my proposal, I’d lose whatever relationship we had been sharing and I didn't want that at the cost of everything in the world.
But I knew it’s of no use now. She left me. She’s going to marry Arjun and she doesn't want me to be a part of her life. I was the guy she feels disgusted at and I’d be just ‘some other guy’ in her past........to be continued
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